Whats the difference between affection and romance? - Heal.me
Relationship Counseling
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Whats the difference between affection and romance?

In building relationships, I am always wondering what type of experience I am evoking. And I recently began to wonder if showing affection (physical or emotional) is the same thing as romance. I think they often occur with each other, and affection can lead to romance and romance can lead to affection. But I dont exactly know what the difference is, and how I can recognize both creating and experiencing each distinctly. I imagine sex coaches, relationship coaches, counselors, and life coaches might have the most to say here, but we all engage in romance and affection so Im interested in hearing from everyone.

2 Answers

Kerri Lake
Intuitive Self-Awareness - Feel your presence. Live through the heart. Generate Harmony

Where are you acting from approval/disapproval and where are you acting from unconditional love?

Most of what people call romance is a dance of approvals. I approve of how you look or smell or work or talk, and so I am willing to share affection. The flipside may be that I disapprove of your political views or your management tactics or your religion or family, and so I could never be romantic with you.

But, when the interaction is about love, then you get to smell how you wish and be in whatever religion you wish, and neither would affect the honor I feel to walk beside you.

From a place of honoring one another, expressing affection simply becomes a natural extension of our connection. Or, from a place of honoring one another, the natural extension of our expression may be romantic, or more intimate affection, sharing and expressing love through physical touch.

Other times, the natural expression of honoring one another might be living on different sides of the continent and not really engaging!

The way we know the difference is through our willingness to feel, to drop the approval or disapproval of our own senses and natural expressions. Affection can be shared between friends of same or different genders. Romance can happen between same or different genders, between friends or lovers. Romance can be an expression of how you care for yourself. As you are more and more willing to be open to how you truly feel about anything, about everything, your expression of affection and/or romance becomes a fluid expression of your heart, without judgment.

Physician Assistant

Your body language will evoke the emotion you are trying to convey. If you do not want the recipient of your advance to confuse the two I would not use a lot of physical contact. This can be construed differently in certain countries so that throws another variable to the mix. Best bet is to be very clear verbally.

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