What are Fractured States of Consciousness you ask?
Tell me, do you struggle with:
Repeating patterns of behavior?
Unconsciously and compulsive Acting or Reacting?
Always picking the same kind of wrong guy?
Your best friends becoming your frienamies?
Self-defeating choices always leave you last, left out, having no fun?
It's always someone's fault?
Do you find your focus on surviving and reacting to what is happening (or may happen), always trying to predict the outcome, or intuit the motivation, or feel their true feelings hidden behind their masks?
No matter how hard you work on you, do these patterns seem to not go away?
That’s because these patterns of behaviors and responses, these filters of victimhood, all are attempting to help you not hurt you, they are showing you your fractured aspects of your psyche driving your bus, and all of you are barreling down the road to Triggerlandia where everyone is out to beat you at the game.
The Game.
We keep hearing this concept again and again. This is an illusion of your making, it’s all a great game, if you aren’t enjoying it, you've forgotten you were playing. This is easy to access, conceptualize, and even possibly integrate into our most healthy times and intimate spaces.
The concept only becomes hard to hold when we are facing the situation with a sword in our back. When the Light of Awareness shines on that bitter betrayal and we hear hindsights mocking sighs, that's when everything stops feeling like a Game.
“You should have seen this coming,” and the self-punishment begins; the should’a, would’a, could’a’s that shame us to death if we let it.
What if I told you there is no way you could have seen that coming. What if I told you the parts of you who could have recognized the problem, who could have expected this outcome, are not actually with you. Those parts are the scapegoats, the problem children; they are the ones you kicked off the bus, or they jumped out not trusting the path you were taking them down. Those are your Fractured States and they are driving much of your externally Reflected Matrix.
Maybe you were too sensitive, it caused the others to ridicule you, or you felt too much of their pain. You sensed too much as a child, so at some point you figured how to shut JUST that part of you away, forgotten like dirty laundry stuffed under the bed.
Now, those little boys and girls, those pieces of us, have escaped and gone wild. (If that sounded fragmented, you're right.) They have gone out looking for people to get in your face, one's who can hold their hand, people you can't or wont make go away, so they can show up in your awareness, in your presence.
In fact the attraction or pull is strong. You wonder, is this my Twin Flame? Once the huge rush of hormones and bliss of finding each other at last fades, things start to go very, very wrong.
She is constantly accusing you of shutting down your feelings, and trying to shut her down too.
You wonder, “Why is this happening, we are meant to be, she is like all the rest of me. I love her so much, if she could just not be so SENSITIVE? The problem is that she wants to change what I believe makes me strong.”
Remember your fracture, the sensitive part of you. He is holding your girlfriend’s hand, tugging at her, saying, "See, see how mean he is to me?"
So she keeps saying, “Why are you so mean to me?”
Yet you can’t understand what she’s talking about, because you aren’t mean to her. You are trying to show her the better way you figured out.
Unfortunately, she can’t understand or hear you because she is unconsciously being driven to keep poking at the wound until you see. It is never about her or her sensitivity, or the right way or the wrong way to be. Rather it was always about you finding, opening and feeling the wound, and thereby releasing from the subconscious the need to continue programming find me into your reality.
The body always seeks realignment and a release of pressure. When we shift our focus outside of one’s self, we pull the strings of our instruments out of alignment, distorting it’s vibrations. The pressure comes from the desire for the string to return to it’s balanced, centered alignment, and the attachment holding it out of that alignment.
Once free, it is soft and supple, malleable, playable and pleasurable.
The external/physical reality isn’t showing you how you act with it. No, the mirror is showing you your unconscious or unprocessed aspects of your relationship with you: your misalignments, your attachments, your filters of perception and your patterns of programming that no longer serve your growth and expansion.
So we don't have to hate them...
What we can do is love them for showing us all the ways we have abandoned ourselves.
