What's a way to feel better about Monday mornings and how I have to go back to work?

Monday mornings are notoriously dreaded. Wednesday's are referred to as hump day and then we're sliding into home base, with a 'thanks God it's Friday'.

There are imbalances at a fundamental level that need to be addressed. That's the long term. And you need more immediate relief for the short term. Let's talk about both.

SHORT TERM

That familiar sense of dread, not looking forward to or even straight up anxiety is all future related. As important as it is to look ahead, when you're coming from an untethered place, it can feel overwhelming. We first need to be grounded in the here and now so that we can feel tethered, anchored and secure.

Breathwork, meditation and yoga are great grounding exercises. However, two of my personal favorites are Orienting from Somatic Experiencing and working with the root chakra.

Orienting is a simple practice you can do anywhere. Simply turn your head to look over your shoulder and allow your eyes to slowly scan everything you can see, while naming each thing. As you see and name, slowly turn your head to take in what's in front of you, then what's on the other side. Try to turn your head as far as you're able over both shoulders so you're getting a 360 view.

This practice is powerful because you are directly communicating with your Autonomic Nervous System (think flight/flight) and telling your system that you are safe. Consider our ancestors from way way back. They lived in far more immediate and actual danger, so our nervous systems evolved accordingly. When they scanned their surroundings like this, they were able to spot danger. No lions or tigers and all's good. If you've ever been drawn to go for a drive to clear your head, this is why. When driving we are mimicking this same thing by scanning the road all around us.

To amp up this exercise even more, take slow deep belly breaths at the same time. This too tells your system you're safe by activating the vagus nerve, which runs near your diaphragm. When there's actual danger, we breath shallowly in our chest, the vagus nerve is not activated and that tells our system there is danger to prepare for. Understanding the biology can empower you to consciously tell your system you are safe, which in turn allows you to be grounded in the present.

The root chakra is all about safety and security. Taking slow, deep belly breathes, breath in and envision a column of light extending from the base of your spine down into the earth. Breathing out, run your attention back up from the earth to the base of your spine. Repeat a few times.

To take this a step further, breathe in, running your minds eye from the base of your spine down into the earth. Then on the out breath, run your attention from the earth, up to the base of your spine, continuing up your spine, noticing each chakra as you pass it and up through your crown, envisioning that column of light extending up to the spirit realm. As you continue breathing in and out, run your attention up and down this light column from the heavens to the earth and back. Now you are more fully connected to all that you are and to the collective consciousness / God / Universe, etc. This bolsters feelings of safety and security even more, allowing you to be present and grounded.

LONG TERM

This is the part that is likely most neglected and in need of attention. However, to get here, you need to keep doing your short term work to build capacity.

It is not Monday's that any of us dread. It is what we have to do on Monday's. Life does not have to be drudgery and full of dreadful days. There is another way and on some level, I think you know that.

Once you are in a grounded place more of the time, you build the capacity to be open to more possibility. You begin to access more creativity, curiosity and intuition which are the tools you'll need to reconnect with yourself. It is through the process of reconnection that you will identify ways your life is out of balance with your authentic self, and can begin the journey home to yourself, to your calling and to building your glorious future.

This is the core of my work with clients. Reconnection with yourself brings clarity on your innate strengths and values, supports you in having strong boundaries, truly knowing, accepting and loving yourself, appreciating yourself and the gifts you bring to the world and feeling safe to show up as your true self. Who are you when no one's watching? Imagine having the confidence and self-love to be that always, in every situation and around any person!

What does that have to do with dreading Mondays?

When you are connected and living as your authentic self, you will accept nothing less than greatness. You will learn to dream big and to live those dreams. You learn to make stuff happen, knowing you are living your highest calling.

There are a lot of factors that could lead to feeling this way. It could be low energy levels, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, not being happy with work or life in general, unhealthy relationships. It's important to address it from a Holistic perspective. you can check out my profile
at heal.me/ramyakota24 and book a free consultation so we work together in addressing the root cause

An important element here is to focus not on what you are doing, but the qualities of character that enable you to do it. Even if the work is unpleasant, you can find success each day in having been the person that you wish to be.

Sleep is another factor. Many of us cheat on sleep during the week and try to catch up on the weekend. That actually doesn't work - it takes weeks to catch up once we fall behind. So your mind may be expecting that, when the work week starts, it is the continuation of a slow decline in your mental powers. (Most sleep-deprived people don't recognize how much their performance suffers - but your brain knows.) If you aren't getting enough sleep during the week, establish a sleep routine until you can get 8 hours a night, and see how that affects your attitude.

The words we use are so important. "I have to go back to work." Even though I love what I do, thinking about my work in that way creates a sense of dread. Don't you think? So, the first step is to understand that you are at choice with going to work. You don't HAVE TO do it. We don't HAVE TO do anything. We get to choose. A concept that I teach my clients is the think/feel/act cycle - that our thoughts create our feelings create our actions. You ask 'what's a better way to feel about Monday mornings' - How do you WANT to feel about Monday mornings? What's the EMOTION that you want to have on Mondays? What do you need to think about your work in order to feel that emotion? Suggestion: I'm choosing to go to work because it helps me to pay my bills.

When I asked myself this question a few years back, I learned that my work was not in alignment with my values and that I did not allow myself the time to rest and reconnect during the weekend so I would start the week with a "deficit." Therefore, reflecting on why you don't feel great on Monday mornings may help - and keep in mind that some of it may be related to our society/culture telling us to dread Monday mornings. Our mindset about it plays a large role. Reflect on what brings you joy and incorporate more of that in your life, especially if there's something that can be part of your Monday morning routine that you look forward to (such as drinking a favorite tea or taking 15 minutes to read a favorite book). You could also reflect on what it would be like to have an ideal day on Mondays - what would you do? when? how? with whom? And see how you may be able to change your schedule or routine to align more with your values, needs, and desires.

I love what I do so Monday mornings are easy. if you can't change what you do to do something you love, focus on what you like in your work, what it brings you, what it allows you to do.

Sometimes, the quickest way to feel better about something is to allow yourself not to like it. I'm not sure if you like your job but struggle with transitions, or if you really dislike your job. But either way, giving yourself full permission to hate Monday mornings can even bring some humor to it - but it doesn't have to!
If you happen to have a job you don't enjoy, it's easy to feel guilty for not liking it, because so many people don't have a job, or because there are things about it you appreciate. But if you can lift your requirement that you have to feel good about it, then you can just put one foot in front of the other and do what you need to do. You're allowed to respect yourself for overcoming the power of your preferences to take care of yourself and your loved ones. And if it's not an option to change your job - for whatever reason - just be sure you are spending a few hours a week doing something that you do enjoy, so that you can occasionally remind yourself that the work is supporting the parts of your life you DO like.

Self-talk is by far the topic that is most often discussed in my treatment room. And typically, when the subject comes up, it’s about the things we say to ourselves, about ourselves. However, self-talk is actually a bit bigger than that. Here’s what I mean…

Let’s say that it’s Sunday night and you are getting ready for bed. You’re thinking about how your weekend was, what fun (or not so fun) things you got to do, and how tomorrow is Monday. And Monday means…work. And you say to yourself, “Ugh…I HAVE to go to work tomorrow.”

Well, that certainly doesn’t sound fun. I mean would you ever say, “I HAVE to go out with my friends to my favorite restaurant” or “I HAVE to go get the puppy (or kitty) that I’ve been waiting for”. My guess is probably not. Because using the phrase “have to” implies that you have no choice. It means that you feel as though you are being ordered to do something. Or maybe that you agreed to do something, even though you don’t really want to, and now you’re on the hook. It means that the thing is out of your control. And that feels yucky.

So what happens if instead of lying there in bed on Sunday night, thinking about how you HAVE to go to work, you reframe it into how you GET to go to work. That sounds way better, doesn’t it? The reason is because “getting” to do something implies that you have a choice. It means that you feel as though you are deciding to do something. Or maybe that you agreed to do something, even though you wanted to do it anyway, and now you’re on the hook and you are stoked. It means that the thing is totally in your control. And that feels empowering.

Language matters. Words matter. They matter to us. And they matter to those around us, be it in person, on a Zoom, or even playing a video game while on a headset. Although words may not always be the most effective way to communicate and truly are only a portion of how we communicate (body language, tone, etc. are super important), they are very meaningful and have numerous implications. And one change of a word, such as “have to” versus “get to”, or “my children” instead of “our children”, or maybe even adding or taking away a word, like saying “you’re a jerk” versus “you’re acting like a jerk” all have very different meanings.

So give it a try and see what happens. My guess is that as you work on reframing things into positives, it will be easier to see more positives and maybe even practice a bit more gratitude.

Because you, yes YOU deserve to see your life in a positive way. You, yes YOU deserve to mine your light.