Mental Health

Why do I feel like nothing makes me happy? Or happy enough? That even when I make changes on the outside, I’m still feeling unfulfilled. I feel like it’s getting in the way of my dreams, goals, relationships. Nothing is ever enough.

16 Answers

You can do your work, your way, with soul. Learn to trust yourself and tap into your inner wisdom so you can fully show up in your work with confidence. I'm a Career and Life Coach, and I can help

Humans are meant to evolve. Which means we are often slightly unsatisfied. Because we are wanting more. And wanting more isn't wrong. But it doesn't have to feel desperate, either.

We can be happy and wanting more. We can be fulfilled, and still have goals forward.

The happiness doesn't come from what we do. It comes from what we make those actions and accomplishments mean. It's about how we think about the results we get, not the results themselves. This is why you can achieve a goal and still feel unsatisfied. Because our feelings come from how we interpret our surroundings and our outcomes, and not the surroundings themselves.

To create more happiness in our lives, we must create more meaning. And this starts with a deep awareness of ourselves. Of what we truly want. Of what we truly would like to do in this life we have.

This is a question only you can answer, but you don't have to answer it alone. A coach can help you uncover these answers within yourself. For example, As a Career and Life Coach, I help my clients find and do work that is meaningful to them and aligned with who they are. I use different personality systems and modalities to do this. But I also facilitate your ability to tap into your own inner wisdom so that you can hear the answers for you. Because happiness comes from the meaning you make. And if you're not loving the life you're leading, it's time to tap in, hear from your inner soul - that guidance inside - and realign with your soul's purpose.

You can do this. The fact that you're asking these questions is a sign that you are already on the path to greater happiness. Your desire for more is not wrong. It's your cue to go on. But instead of looking outside for the answer, it's time to look within.

If you want help with this, you can reach out to me at Lisa@beliefseed.com or schedule a free call with me to talk more (go to https://beliefseed.com/schedule to schedule your call). I teach my clients to tap into their own self confident soul so they can be their own guide. I'd love to help you, too if this is calling to you.

You can also check out my podcast, Your Work, Your Way, with Soul for additional guidance and support: https://www.beliefseed.com/podcasts/your-work-your-way

I help you be yourself when it matters most.

Great question. Thank you for sharing. What if you changed the focus point and instead ask, how do I make me happy? The shift is subtle. Did you catch it? What can you do for yourself and in your life to make you happy. Rather than searching for happiness on the outside, get in touch with yourself from within and fulfill yourself.

I provide health & wellness coaching to those living in a state of stress and overwhelm and Functional Nutrition Counseling to those looking for additional support to their symptoms or diagnosis.

Lisa. You are not alone in this quest for contentment and what you call happiness in life. This state of being could be a result of circumstances, stress or any number of external influences. However, as a Functional Nutrition counselor, I know that our brains and the emotions we experience can sometimes be directly connected to a physical imbalance. As a Health & Wellness coach, I have also discovered that causes to such feelings can come from any number of areas. I would never want to guess the "why" of your frustrations but I would challenge you to explore all of the different dimensions that make up a person. Those dimensions physical; spiritual; emotional; mental; vocational; social; environmental; and financial. The thing that can throw us off is that it only takes one that is in a state of distress to begin to affect the others. It can be helpful to list each one of these on a sheet of paper and rate on a scale of 1-10 how healthy you perceive each one to be in your life at this present time. Hopefully you will then be able to see which area is in greatest distress and seek the help there first. As you begin to address the root of the problem, I believe you will begin to gain answers to some of the questions you presented today. This may not have been the answer you were seeking but I have learned as a health & wellness coach and a functional nutrition counselor that there is really no magical answer to questions like yours. Answers, yes - but no magical ones.

I approach each client as a whole person. Each recommendation and plan is client specific supporting the entire body.

Our emotions are stored in our organs. Each organ has it's own emotion that it is effected by. Unhappiness can often be attached to the liver. While the liver is specifically linked to anger, this can also make us unhappy if we are not being honest with our emotions. Once we get to the root of the emotion we can begin support the organs to get the blood flowing with will help with hidden feelings that are not allowing our blood and body to flow as intended.

I use a client-centered health coaching style that supports and empowers individuals to uncover their strengths and collaborate with them in creating and achieving their wellness goals.

I know that it may seem like nothing is ever enough. But the fact that you are reaching out and speaking about what is true for you is a big step. You are expressing a desire for change and that is big. You are being vulnerable and honest and that will go a long way in exploring how you can find what you need "inside of you". It is there. With support and guidance, you can find it.

My 360° Coaching Approach brings all the parts of you into alignment so you can achieve and maintain a thriving life, opening up access to your amazing life on the other side of trauma.

I am sorry you're struggling with this! I know how exhausting and sometimes hopeless it can feel when you feel you are doing all the things and nothing, or not enough, is changing.

Part of the answer lies in your question...'when I make changes on the outside, I'm still feeling unfulfilled.' Our internal state creates our external state. While there are ways to affect your internal state via external manipulation, such as Feng Shui and various body work, it's imperative to go inside too.

A collogue of mine says, 'We are born pure intuition and love and that's taken away from us. We spend the rest of our lives trying to get back to ourselves." When we are living the life prescribed by our parents, significant other and society, we are little more than an actor on a stage - and we feel that.

Conversely, when you connect with your authentic self, with that pure intuition and love you were born as, your life will shift in unfathomable ways. Coming from a place of deep peace and fulfillment, you will achieve your dreams, goals and will have incredible loving and supportive relationships.

I love the Einstein quote, “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." It's time to think differently.

I specialize in helping people reconnect with themselves by understanding where you are, how you got there, how to recognize when your patterns are interfering and how to think, choose and BE different - how to BE YOU.

Here are a few prompts to help you get started. These can be great for free writing, meditating and discussing with a trusted friend.

1. Write your own fairy tale of who you would be and what your life might have been like had you not been robbed of your 'pure intuition and love'.

2. Make a list of all the things that help you feel better when you're sad, hurting, depressed, anxious, etc. Everything from talking to a coach or therapist, going to a place of worship, going for a walk, going to the beach, to the mountains, sipping a hot cut of tea, yoga, meditation, staring at a blank wall and doing absolutely nothing, etc. Update this list every time you think of or discover something else. Keep this list on your phone or somewhere else where you will always have access to it. This is your cheat sheet for when you're feeling activated and forget everything you know. When you're feeling stuck, refer to this list, scanning until you land on something that just hits the spot - then go to that.

3. Self-compassion is a huge resource that many of us struggle with. The next time you're being hard on yourself, flip the narrative. If you're loved one was saying exactly what you were just saying, what would you say to them? Write it! Write yourself a love letter in response to what you just heard yourself-as-your-loved-one say. Then read it out loud. Notice how you feel, hearing that letter read to you. What shifts? What expands? What emotions arise?

When you're ready to commit fully to this process of reconnecting to yourself, I'll be here.

It would be my honor to be able to work with you, learn about your story, and help you grow. I individualize every session specifically to you, because, after all, YOU are the EXPERT of your life.

This is an excellent question and is something a lot of people struggle with. You are not alone! Although it is common, it is difficult to provide a specific answer. Every individual is unique and is impacted by their specific environment and life experiences. Oftentimes many of the experiences we have in our lives shape who we are and influence our understanding of ourselves. We also develop mechanisms to help us cope in challenging situations and this often involves abandoning ourselves to focus on "fixing" the problem. I would encourage you to turn your focus inwards on yourself and try a few exercises. Try writing down what your strengths and values are. Think about what you want in your life but more importantly WHY you want those things. What is your WHY? What is your purpose? Are you living your life in line with your purpose? When you can discover those things first, and then align your outer goals with your inner purpose you'll discover a new sense of happiness and fulfillment in your life. I would love you help you on your journey if you feel we would be a good fit.

Find the old YOU who has been lost, the one with energy, confidence, and independence from medications. Get back to doing things you are passionate about and find healing in return.

There is a quantum science behind our ability to connect with the world, ourselves and others. We have a nervous system that we can treat or support that most doctors focus on, and we also have an energy system that isn't visible or in the form of matter that often gets overlooked. Often times this energy system can become tainted by toxins, toxic people, trauma, and cultural or familial programming. Bioenergetics is a way to balance your energy systems and get back to the core of your being, which will connect you with your purpose, and true essence of who you are. I'm happy to discuss further.

Depth Flow Counseling, Shadow Recovery, Spirit Readings & Guidance, Somatic Experiencing. Empowering a path to wholeness and igniting your awakening journey. To learn more, visit somaaloia.com.

Can you find a way to settle and feel safe enough in your body to be able to observe the feelings and thoughts of unfulfillment? I would suggest starting there with someone who can really relate to where you're at, and can understand what you are going through. Allowing yourself to become comfortable in your body with all that is happening takes great courage, and you can learn to support yourself from the inside out regardless of the outer circumstances of life. You are capable!

I help people overcome chronic symptoms and reclaim their health by addressing health on all 3 levels - the physical, mental and emotional/energetic. Rewire your Brain, Reclaim your Health.

That would be frustrating! It's great that you are searching for answers - deep inside you know this isn't you! To understand why this happens it helps to understand the mind and how it works.
Our minds consist of both conscious and subconscious portions, the subconscious mind controlling the majority of our thoughts and behavior. It is therefore extremely powerful. However, the subconscious mind operates on a memory, on automatic programs that have been set up over our lifetime that allow us to run efficiently - it's subconscious.
So if consciously you want happiness and are making changes on the outside but are still feeling unfulfilled, you are running subconscious programs that are keeping you stuck where you don't want to be.
The good news is that the mind can change! By working with the subconscious mind you can dismantle the automatic programs that are keeping you stuck and rewire your brain to operate in a way that will allow you to achieve your goals.
As you experienced, it's hard to win when we are fighting with ourselves. You're literally battling your own mind. The mind isn't trying to hurt us on purpose, it's just doing what it was told. When you rewire the brain you change the operating system so you are no longer fighting against yourself and can easily reach your goals. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have, if you know how to use it!

Unlock your full potential of health and wellness through the age old practice of Hypnosis. I'll guide you every step of the way. This will literally change your life.

Hey, I want to thank you for being vulnerable and asking. To be 100% honest, on this platform, you're going to get multiple different answers, all with a bias leaning toward their own modality of therapy.

So, I'll just be transparent and offer mine. In my line of work, it sounds like your sub-conscious is looking for something your logical mind isn't providing. I'd be happy to offer a free consultation (805) 954-9521. And feel free to check me out on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNZF5Vv7d57cIEZXW-7hwQ

Holistic therapist for Highly Sensitive, Empathic and Intuitive women experiencing depression, anxiety or PTSD

Hi Andres, sometimes in life we set goals and think "yeah, this is it, after this I am going to be happy" and then we reach that goal and for a few minutes we feel Happy. However, this is a temporary happiness based outside ourselves. Often, our goal setting is because we want to prove to ourselves and others that we are "good enough". The problem is, each time we meet a goal...we may feel a little happiness and then we may feel emptiness. Then we have to set another goal, and boom...repeat. That is because sometimes as kids we are taught the sky is green. What I mean by that, is sometimes we are taught or come to some internal agreement that true happiness comes from doing something, instead of just being ourselves. True happiness comes from inside, when we feel like we are good enough just because we are, that we don't HAVE to DO anything to be LOVED. So we get the ups and downs of accomplishments, and sometimes that resembles happy, but often it is just a temporary high. True happiness is more contentment, it may have some highs, some lows but they are not high highs or low lows. So how can you fix that? It begins by doing some self reflection on why you are doing what you are doing. Start with am I doing this because I LOVE IT and it makes ME HAPPY, or because it is expected. Start having conversations with yourself about what happiness is, what does it look like. Getting hooked up with a good counselor, coach or guide can be helpful as well. We often didn't create this understanding by ourselves, so it can be hard to fix it ourselves. I wish you luck on your journey, and Yes. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Love and healing, Laura

Elizabeth Sherman
Ceritfied Life & Weight Loss Coach

I totally get this because there was a time that I felt this way too. So, I’m going to answer your question from my personal experience, and then how I was able to turn it around. For me, I didn’t want to feel negative emotion - which totally makes sense because we don’t want to feel negative feelings. They feel bad. But what ended up happening for me, was that when we take away the negative feelings, thinking that we can ONLY feel positive emotion, what happens is that we become numb - because we can only go as high as we go low. We need contrast in our lives. We’ve been led to believe that we should always be happy. But what if the contrast of emotions - having a life that is full of positive AND negative is the true human experience? So, what I started doing was paying attention to my emotions - how my body was feeling & what it was feeling. The other piece was to start a gratitude practice- because once I was able to appreciate the good things in my life, I was able to find more good things in my life. Good Luck. You can do this.

Health and Wellness Coach

Most people find themselves going through these sort of emotions at at least one point in their life. We are living in a world where so much is at our finger tips and not always in a good way. We have social media which allows us to compare ourselves to others more or view others stories and "think" that is what we want. I think that one thing that is really important to do is make a list of what truly makes YOU happy? Is that happiness speaking from your heart or this the perception of others? We have all been raised to view things in a certain light but sometimes that light gets brighter or dimmer as we grow older and create a path for ourselves. It's important to start to unpack those feelings or thoughts and separate what views, opinions, feelings have been embedded in us or those that are really ours. I have been going through some reflection myself lately and this perception of what I think happiness should be but in reality that vision is actually blocking my ability to live in the moment and allow each day to unfold. I am constantly focusing on the destination, rather then the journey. Does that make sense? I know I started rambling. May I make a suggestion for a podcast I recently listened to? It's call Made for Living Well, Episode #227 "This Simple Mindset Shift Changed My Health".......Feel free to let me know what your thoughts are if you do end up listening.

I help you manage stress and get unstuck through mindfulness coaching and mind-body practices.

Andres, what you are experiencing is not unusual. That euphoria when reaching an external goal can turn into an empty and unsatisfying feeling quickly.

One thing to keep in mind is that our intrinsic, internal goals are more motivating than our external goals. A key question is whether your goals are in alignment with what you really want. Goals often reflect conscious explicit motives shaped by societal norms, reward structures, and what we believe. But there is more to this question of what you really want in your daily life. You have implicit motives as well. You just might not know it because they are subconscious, which influences your actions more than you may realize. A mismatch between your explicit motives and your implicit subconscious motives can undermine your well-being and ability to reach your goals.

If it exists, it is s possible to overcome or reduce this misalignment. Studies indicate that goal imagery and mindfulness meditation, for example, can help to access implicit motives and foster a congruence between conscious and subconscious goals. You may also want to reflect on the process you are using to reach your goals and your efforts so far. You may not be giving yourself sufficient credit for all you have accomplished.

In peace and gratitude,

Certified Hypnotherapist

Andres, your most important relationship is with yourself. Happiness is an emotion - it describes your physiological reaction to events. It arises with alignment between your physical wellness and your external activity. When external change creates only temporary satisfaction, the deeper parts of the mind are sometimes concerned that you don't really have control over your choices. In empowering you to communicate with the deeper mind, hypnotherapy can help build self-trust. This is one scenario In working with a hypnotherapist, you'll develop a strategy that fits your life experience.

Have your own Question?

Ask your question right now and we will answer!

Ask a Question