Mental Health

Why do I feel like nothing makes me happy? Or happy enough? That even when I make changes on the outside, I’m still feeling unfulfilled. I feel like it’s getting in the way of my dreams, goals, relationships. Nothing is ever enough.

10 Answers

I approach everyone as a whole person.

Great question. Thank you for sharing. What if you changed the focus point and instead ask, how do I make me happy? The shift is subtle. Did you catch it? What can you do for yourself and in your life to make you happy. Rather than searching for happiness on the outside, get in touch with yourself from within and fulfill yourself.

Find the old YOU who has been lost, the one with energy, confidence, and independence from medications. Get back to doing things you are passionate about and find healing in return.

There is a quantum science behind our ability to connect with the world, ourselves and others. We have a nervous system that we can treat or support that most doctors focus on, and we also have an energy system that isn't visible or in the form of matter that often gets overlooked. Often times this energy system can become tainted by toxins, toxic people, trauma, and cultural or familial programming. Bioenergetics is a way to balance your energy systems and get back to the core of your being, which will connect you with your purpose, and true essence of who you are. I'm happy to discuss further.

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Can you find a way to settle and feel safe enough in your body to be able to observe the feelings and thoughts of unfulfillment? I would suggest starting there with someone who can really relate to where you're at, and can understand what you are going through. Allowing yourself to become comfortable in your body with all that is happening takes great courage, and you can learn to support yourself from the inside out regardless of the outer circumstances of life. You are capable!

I help people overcome chronic symptoms and reclaim their health by addressing health on all 3 levels - the physical, mental and emotional/energetic. Rewire your Brain, Reclaim your Health.

That would be frustrating! It's great that you are searching for answers - deep inside you know this isn't you! To understand why this happens it helps to understand the mind and how it works.
Our minds consist of both conscious and subconscious portions, the subconscious mind controlling the majority of our thoughts and behavior. It is therefore extremely powerful. However, the subconscious mind operates on a memory, on automatic programs that have been set up over our lifetime that allow us to run efficiently - it's subconscious.
So if consciously you want happiness and are making changes on the outside but are still feeling unfulfilled, you are running subconscious programs that are keeping you stuck where you don't want to be.
The good news is that the mind can change! By working with the subconscious mind you can dismantle the automatic programs that are keeping you stuck and rewire your brain to operate in a way that will allow you to achieve your goals.
As you experienced, it's hard to win when we are fighting with ourselves. You're literally battling your own mind. The mind isn't trying to hurt us on purpose, it's just doing what it was told. When you rewire the brain you change the operating system so you are no longer fighting against yourself and can easily reach your goals. Your mind is the most powerful tool you have, if you know how to use it!

Hey, I want to thank you for being vulnerable and asking. To be 100% honest, on this platform, you're going to get multiple different answers, all with a bias leaning toward their own modality of therapy.

So, I'll just be transparent and offer mine. In my line of work, it sounds like your sub-conscious is looking for something your logical mind isn't providing. I'd be happy to offer a free consultation (805) 954-9521. And feel free to check me out on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYNZF5Vv7d57cIEZXW-7hwQ

Hi Andres, sometimes in life we set goals and think "yeah, this is it, after this I am going to be happy" and then we reach that goal and for a few minutes we feel Happy. However, this is a temporary happiness based outside ourselves. Often, our goal setting is because we want to prove to ourselves and others that we are "good enough". The problem is, each time we meet a goal...we may feel a little happiness and then we may feel emptiness. Then we have to set another goal, and boom...repeat. That is because sometimes as kids we are taught the sky is green. What I mean by that, is sometimes we are taught or come to some internal agreement that true happiness comes from doing something, instead of just being ourselves. True happiness comes from inside, when we feel like we are good enough just because we are, that we don't HAVE to DO anything to be LOVED. So we get the ups and downs of accomplishments, and sometimes that resembles happy, but often it is just a temporary high. True happiness is more contentment, it may have some highs, some lows but they are not high highs or low lows. So how can you fix that? It begins by doing some self reflection on why you are doing what you are doing. Start with am I doing this because I LOVE IT and it makes ME HAPPY, or because it is expected. Start having conversations with yourself about what happiness is, what does it look like. Getting hooked up with a good counselor, coach or guide can be helpful as well. We often didn't create this understanding by ourselves, so it can be hard to fix it ourselves. I wish you luck on your journey, and Yes. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Love and healing, Laura

Ceritfied Life & Weight Loss Coach

I totally get this because there was a time that I felt this way too. So, I’m going to answer your question from my personal experience, and then how I was able to turn it around. For me, I didn’t want to feel negative emotion - which totally makes sense because we don’t want to feel negative feelings. They feel bad. But what ended up happening for me, was that when we take away the negative feelings, thinking that we can ONLY feel positive emotion, what happens is that we become numb - because we can only go as high as we go low. We need contrast in our lives. We’ve been led to believe that we should always be happy. But what if the contrast of emotions - having a life that is full of positive AND negative is the true human experience? So, what I started doing was paying attention to my emotions - how my body was feeling & what it was feeling. The other piece was to start a gratitude practice- because once I was able to appreciate the good things in my life, I was able to find more good things in my life. Good Luck. You can do this.

Health and Wellness Coach

Most people find themselves going through these sort of emotions at at least one point in their life. We are living in a world where so much is at our finger tips and not always in a good way. We have social media which allows us to compare ourselves to others more or view others stories and "think" that is what we want. I think that one thing that is really important to do is make a list of what truly makes YOU happy? Is that happiness speaking from your heart or this the perception of others? We have all been raised to view things in a certain light but sometimes that light gets brighter or dimmer as we grow older and create a path for ourselves. It's important to start to unpack those feelings or thoughts and separate what views, opinions, feelings have been embedded in us or those that are really ours. I have been going through some reflection myself lately and this perception of what I think happiness should be but in reality that vision is actually blocking my ability to live in the moment and allow each day to unfold. I am constantly focusing on the destination, rather then the journey. Does that make sense? I know I started rambling. May I make a suggestion for a podcast I recently listened to? It's call Made for Living Well, Episode #227 "This Simple Mindset Shift Changed My Health".......Feel free to let me know what your thoughts are if you do end up listening.

Andres, what you are experiencing is not unusual. That euphoria when reaching an external goal can turn into an empty and unsatisfying feeling quickly.

One thing to keep in mind is that our intrinsic, internal goals are more motivating than our external goals. A key question is whether your goals are in alignment with what you really want. Goals often reflect conscious explicit motives shaped by societal norms, reward structures, and what we believe. But there is more to this question of what you really want in your daily life. You have implicit motives as well. You just might not know it because they are subconscious, which influences your actions more than you may realize. A mismatch between your explicit motives and your implicit subconscious motives can undermine your well-being and ability to reach your goals.

If it exists, it is s possible to overcome or reduce this misalignment. Studies indicate that goal imagery and mindfulness meditation, for example, can help to access implicit motives and foster a congruence between conscious and subconscious goals. You may also want to reflect on the process you are using to reach your goals and your efforts so far. You may not be giving yourself sufficient credit for all you have accomplished.

In peace and gratitude,

Certified Hypnotherapist

Andres, your most important relationship is with yourself. Happiness is an emotion - it describes your physiological reaction to events. It arises with alignment between your physical wellness and your external activity. When external change creates only temporary satisfaction, the deeper parts of the mind are sometimes concerned that you don't really have control over your choices. In empowering you to communicate with the deeper mind, hypnotherapy can help build self-trust. This is one scenario In working with a hypnotherapist, you'll develop a strategy that fits your life experience.

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