Everything we experience in life is filtered through our beliefs about ourselves.
It seems simple to say, "if I could just change how I feel about myself then everything will fall into place and I will achieve my dreams".
Easier said than done, right? We can say affirmations religiously and yet still not be making the money we want or have found that perfect relationship or career. But many are still procrastinating and still walking around in fear with stress and anxiety.
Remember that our subconscious is running 95% of our lives. We can't change those subconscious beliefs by working hard, saying affirmations or by getting success coaching. These things can definitely help but if they are not working, it is an indication that you still have negative beliefs or trapped trauma that stops you from moving forward out of fear. If there are parts that feel it is not safe to reach your goals, they are going to stop you in any way they can or if you achieve your goals somehow, they may sabotage you in some way either with addictions or physical problems. Don't stop saying those affirmations but we must at the same time heal the trauma and transform those accompanying limiting beliefs.
Where do these beliefs come from?
We create beliefs about ourselves from experiences which we have had during our lives and the limiting beliefs we learned about life and ourselves when a traumatic event occurred. In order to survive (and we are all about survival), our subconscious creates a belief to keep us safe. The belief is usually "not true" but it remains in our subconscious and running the rest of our life. If we do not heal it, it will continue to run our lives, causing us all kinds of problems.
We also absorb beliefs that our parents and ancestors have unwittingly passed on. A child's brain, between the ages of 0 to 3 years of age, functions at the Delta frequency. Between the ages of 4-7, the child's brain functions predominantly at the Theta frequency. This means that from childbirth (or even in the womb) to the age of 7, your brain registered things at an "hypnotic" level and drove them deep into your subconscious mind. Those formative years created the foundation for how you will react to the outside world for the rest of your life, unless you learn to change the programming at the subconscious level.
As we only have Theta, Delta and Alpha brain waves up until the age of 7 years, we are in an hypnotic state. What we experience and witness from early childhood we believe to be true. After all our parents are everything to us when we are children, our survival is completely in their hands, why wouldn't we believe them, we don't know anything different and we don't have a choice.
Much of the learning we received from our nuclear family and our ancestors get passed on automatically and we believe them to be true. These can affect our choices for the rest of our lives if we don't take care of them at the subconscious and cellular level.
Our lives and our experiences and challenges have profound importance, they can form our identity and can affect who we become in this life. We all experience trauma of some kind and have obstacles to overcome and grow from. They are our own particular and unique school of life and profoundly connected to our purpose. These traumas and lessons are the basis of how we are going to "give back" with the wisdom we have gained through working through our challenges.
How do we grow from these negative beliefs and traumas?
By healing the traumatic events that caused the negative beliefs we learned. Some of the techniques I have found to be helpful and transforming are EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), sometimes called Tapping, Matrix Reimprinting, Internal Family Systems and Grief Recovery. If the client is open bringing in a connection to a loving Higher Power is a powerful component of healing. Oftentimes trauma can cause a feeling or belief that we are alone in the world, or that we are unloved, or unlovable. Having the deep understanding that there is a kind and benevolent Higher Power who loves us deeply, will never abandon us and is within us all, can be healing in and of itself. I am astounded by my experience of healing through these techniques in my own life. Each traumatic memory that was healed, I am now able to see differently with gratitude and forgiveness. I see how if I didn't have these experiences then I wouldn't be doing what I am doing now. I realize the value of these experiences in my life's journey.
"Don't turn away, keep your gaze on the bandaged places. That is where the light enters you". - Rumi
Even though we may be victims as children, subconsciously we can carry that belief throughout our lives even though the traumas happened many years ago. It can run our lives behind the scenes and sabotage golden opportunities and friendships. It is possible to be free and get to choose what you want to walk away from and not because of fear.
At this time in the world, we are learning the harmful effects of trauma on the body, mind and spirit. And we can also experience the power of love, the power of our hearts, minds and souls to heal. We have the opportunity to break the negative belief patterns that have been passed down through our ancestors with these new therapies. Our parents were the wounded children of their parents and so on. Science is now discovering what we as practitioners have known for years. This is work is transforming and is going to help change the world for the better one heart at a time.