Embarking on a career spanning 33 years within the federal service, most of it with the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), my professional journey was a mix of rewarding experiences and significant challenges. It's a profound truth that we spend a considerable portion of our lives at work, seeking fulfillment and purpose. Yet, this pursuit can sometimes become an overwhelming personal challenge. This was my reality, especially as the years went by, revealing that what sustained me financially was also the cause of notable strain on my mental and physical health.
From 2015 to 2020, the stress levels at work escalated to a point where my health began to suffer significantly. The anxiety and depression arising from job-related pressures grew so overwhelming that I turned to medical assistance. My doctor prescribed medications like Ambien for sleep and Xanax and Valium for anxiety, hoping to alleviate some of the symptoms. However, the side effects were troubling, including sleep paralysis and a sense of unease. The prospect of starting antidepressants was something I was determined to avoid, based on past experiences. The relief I was offered was temporary, and the underlying issues remained unaddressed.
In December of 2019, during a two-week vacation from the DEA, my situation at work reached a critical point. Already on their bad side for being a whistleblower, standing up for truth and fairness, I then faced backlash from a lawsuit I filed. This lawsuit had a long time coming, since I was consistently discriminated against for being gay. Realizing the toxic environment I was in, it became imperative to put my well-being first.
By January of 2020, I made the difficult but necessary decision to resign, a choice that coincided with the onset of the global pandemic. The ensuing isolation not only magnified the fresh wounds from my recent professional life, but also forced me to confront deep-seated scars from my past. Among these was the memory of my alcoholic mother asking us as children, "Who do you want to live with?" amidst a custody battle initiated by my father due to her alcoholism. Despite my voiced choice to stay with her, deep down, I yearned for my father to rescue me from the turmoil that was home. However, that rescue never came. This unfulfilled wish left me with a sense of anger and resentment towards my father for not saving me, compounded by his emotional unavailability. Without the distractions of work and limited in activities due to the pandemic, all these repressed memories began to resurface, confronting me with emotions I had long avoided.
During this period of isolation and profound reflection, the absence of my daily routine and ruminating thoughts pushed me into a dark mental place. I recognized the need for urgent change. Finding solace in nature, I took up daily hikes that, to my surprise, inspired me to revisit meditation. The combination of spending time in nature and pausing to meditate several times a day offered a glimmer of peace amidst my setbacks. Insight Timer Lives emerged as a beacon of support, connecting me to a global community of healers and teachers. This platform allowed me to explore various spiritual and healing practices, providing a lifeline during times of overwhelming chaos.
My sessions with Insight Timer opened doors to shamanism and energy healing, resonating deeply with my innermost being. Despite the virtual nature of these sessions, I felt a powerful and positive impact every time. This exploration guided my shift away from the conventional treatments that had failed to provide the relief I desperately needed.
I found energy healing to be particularly healing and effective. The realization that I had been navigating my challenges without fully addressing my past traumas led me to delve deeper into this practice. My enrollment in a six-month energy healing class was a testament to my commitment to achieving true wellness, not just as a means of overcoming personal obstacles, but as a journey towards helping others navigate their own healing.
It's been over a year since I embarked on this transformative journey, marking it as the most profound period of growth in my life. My initial encounter with the concept of energy blocks during my training only scratched the surface of their extensive effects. I discovered that these blockages were the underlying cause of self-defeating behaviors—such as feelings of victimhood, low self-esteem, and a tendency to catastrophize. Seeing these negative patterns gradually fade from my life has been truly remarkable.
My experience validated the teachings of numerous healers, who assert that energy healing can significantly expedite the healing journey. Within less than two years, this path facilitated a degree of recovery that decades of previous efforts had not achieved. Energy healing has reaffirmed my belief in the boundless potential of personal transformation, if we’re willing to do the work. With each step forward, I am reminded of the incredible resilience of the human spirit and the power of embracing a holistic approach to heal.
Today, as a certified energy healing practitioner and a teacher on Insight Timer, I offer sessions aimed at identifying and clearing energy blocks. Through my work, I aspire to share the transformative potential of energy healing, guiding others towards a state of peace and purpose.